Over 99689

Pick Demotivational Poster


ATTENTION! - If all else fails Lower your standards


TAGS: pickpocket peeping tom painting punchline watchess
Rating: 3.26/5

More motifakes by Bartimaeus

agdaniele - October 5, 2009, 12:58 am
Ok.... now that I'm done concurring, I'm too sleepy to stay online... catch you guys later.
Mooooooooooooooooooo - October 5, 2009, 12:52 am
Think hard Random....did they say "mind" Cuz they probably just said dirty.
MrRandom - October 5, 2009, 12:51 am
And people say I have a dirty mind...
Mooooooooooooooooooo - October 5, 2009, 12:46 am
That means Masturbate right?
Mooooooooooooooooooo - October 5, 2009, 12:45 am
Yes you do.....constantly.
agdaniele - October 5, 2009, 12:45 am
I concur.
Mooooooooooooooooooo - October 5, 2009, 12:44 am
I see it as a fair trade.
agdaniele - October 5, 2009, 12:43 am
It's a vicious cycle, Canada
CANADA - October 5, 2009, 12:42 am
well i sure aint giving up shine
agdaniele - October 5, 2009, 12:40 am
The lead caused the impotence. Nothing to be ashamed of, though. It's why I stopped eating pencils.
agdaniele - October 5, 2009, 12:40 am
That's what grain alcohol leads to... right?
Mooooooooooooooooooo - October 5, 2009, 12:38 am
No, It's the chronic masturbation.
CANADA - October 5, 2009, 12:36 am
figured mine was due to the lead from my stihl
agdaniele - October 5, 2009, 12:32 am
That's why?!?!? I just figured is was the grain alcohol.
Mooooooooooooooooooo - October 5, 2009, 12:31 am
Avoid blue text and remember, We're all half blind from chronic fapping.
Bartimaeus - October 5, 2009, 12:29 am
Thanks, Ron. I'll try something different, I guess.
Mooooooooooooooooooo - October 4, 2009, 11:10 pm
very apt words of wisdom from our resident artist and dirty old man...........besides the hard to read text, You are doing fine work Bart.
RON - October 4, 2009, 10:45 pm
Mr. Bartimaeus...have notice you keep using a serif font for bottom sentence,s on your posters...just a suggestion...it,s very hard to read and makes you read it over and over to finally get...should use a different font that,s easier to read (solid font)

CRUNCHY FROG - Well don't you even take the bones out? If we took the bones out it wouldn't be crunchy would it?

TAGS: crunchy frog monty python pickles
Rating: 3.1/5

More motifakes by BuZZbomb

fascistfrenchman - June 2, 2011, 5:54 am
Well played.
Robert the Bruce - May 8, 2009, 10:21 am
Well why don't you move into more conventional areas of confectionary like Praline or Lime Cream ? A very popular flavour I'm led to understand.

INTRODUCTIONS - Hey baby, are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.


TAGS: sourpuss baby lemons pickles evil
Rating: 4.67/5

More motifakes by spacedog

Verdeckt - June 4, 2011, 9:39 pm
Reality Lord - June 4, 2011, 7:22 am

lol...fav'd dog


TAGS: calendar pickup line pun
Rating: 4.54/5

More motifakes by Verdeckt

litamyra - August 8, 2011, 6:24 am
gave you a 5 cuz of the pun of using bad trucks for you image lol

IF I COULD BE YOUR INTEGRAL - I'd be indefinite so I can be the area under ALL your curves

TAGS: pickup line
Rating: 4/5

More motifakes by Zook

ArmyUAS - February 6, 2011, 7:55 am
Don't start with the calculus puns... Those things derive me crazy
GySgt1811 - February 5, 2011, 6:06 pm
Yes, I'm sure she can function but can she differentiate?


TAGS: friend flower pick tear rot
Rating: 4.56/5

More motifakes by Rick69

GaryO - June 26, 2012, 6:52 pm
O-O-O-Okay…sounds a peck intriguing. I’ll try to pick up on the vibes, but don’t make me yawn, my sensitivities become that of a slack jawed mouth breathing troglodyte when I commence yawning…serious glad yer glad to be back
Rick69 - June 26, 2012, 5:02 pm
Thank you... Very warm welcome back... Thanks... I have decided to change my outlook on MotiFake for the moment... Let's see how this goes... I will do something I gave up a long time ago... Something I used to do... The reason I am who I am here...
GaryO - June 25, 2012, 7:34 pm
Ho…..someone had a memorable camping trip….welcome back Mr Rick. 5L for the sake of herbs.

DOOMED PICK UP LINE: - Hi, I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus!

BABY PICTURES - Optimus Prime's Mom always liked to drag this one out to show his dates

TAGS: september challenge trucks when prime was a little pickup
Rating: 3.74/5

More motifakes by LogicDude

Airman - July 6, 2012, 5:09 pm
MR M, it's from 2009.. it doesn't get to see the light of day much anymore
motinet - July 6, 2012, 3:58 pm

136 votes and not a single facebook share?!?!?!??
rerun - October 5, 2009, 8:34 pm

next she will be showing the one with him n**e on the rug in front of the fireplace
Airman - September 28, 2009, 12:06 pm
THAT is funny
Arnaldo - September 28, 2009, 9:06 am
Sean - September 27, 2009, 8:14 pm
Great and kinda sweet too. Altogether now: "Ahhh, Moooommmmm!"
DrunkenDave101 - September 27, 2009, 7:02 am
This amuses me
Cam - September 27, 2009, 4:02 am
Hahaha. Very nice. 5 lions.


TAGS: success initiative pick a lock
Rating: 4.65/5

More motifakes by caveman

suzieq - January 30, 2012, 8:10 am
won't be p5cky on this one. just make sure you don't touch it with your bare hands, cause with all that rust you might get jawl5ck :)


TAGS: when did shiver me timbers become a pick up line raising mast walking the plank all have new and disturbing meanings
Rating: 3.75/5

More motifakes by Bartimaeus

TED - March 19, 2010, 3:20 pm
WELL, you are wearing mascara!?


TAGS: revenge car pickaxe
Rating: 3.1/5

More motifakes by Iconoclast

mikeloeven - September 25, 2012, 1:58 pm
what are you talking about WIFE? that is what we do to minecraft cheaters

YOU SAY GOODBYE - and I say hello hello hello

TAGS: iceman pickup artist
Rating: 4.88/5

More motifakes by Airman

kangboy123 - September 29, 2011, 1:20 pm
hm this reminds me of the F.T.Island song hello hello hello
boinger - September 20, 2011, 5:50 pm
I freakin' love that song
Mooooooooooooooooooo - September 17, 2011, 10:00 pm
I can vouch for the selfish in bed part....he's a total cover hog.
Reality Lord - September 16, 2011, 5:52 pm


bullies welcome -

TAGS: pick on fat people
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by ughomer

GaryO - September 20, 2013, 8:56 am
I’m savin’ my money, going for the fat-ugly-decrepit trifecta
MissPriss - September 19, 2013, 1:28 pm
Where do I register? I'm a work on one problem at a time kinda gal




TAGS: i hate starbucks overpriced taste nasty pick me up a grande ok
Rating: 4.89/5

More motifakes by rerun

AdmiralAckbar - September 24, 2010, 9:25 pm
I am addicted to redheads and everyone has ripped my heart out. Time to find another, I will never learn.



TAGS: yogurt fruit on bottom stirred pick up line august calendar
Rating: 4.43/5

More motifakes by tryal

agdaniele - August 14, 2010, 12:44 am
4L for the poster, 1+L for obeying the calendar! Good on ya!

HEY LADIES - How would you like to sit on my lap and discuss anything that comes up?

TAGS: doomed pick up lines
Rating: 3.7/5

More motifakes by Anonymous2

Anonymous2 - August 14, 2010, 9:30 pm
Tryal, first, if the line is said wrong, it's doomed. Second, if you get a tr***, whatever pops up first might not be yours...
tryal - August 14, 2010, 5:12 pm
1L... its supposed to be "hey baby why dont you sit on my lap and we can talk about whatever pops up first"

JACK BLACK - He no need a microphone

TAGS: tenacious d jack black pick of destiny
Rating: 2.48/5

More motifakes by james

Fatty - April 8, 2009, 1:48 pm
Jack Black is amsome!!! even if this poster's grammar kinda sux...
Bunny - April 8, 2009, 9:50 am
He just needs a good, hard kick up the arse.(that starts with a K not a D, kids!!)


TAGS: pick up lines date love
Rating: 4.61/5

More motifakes by caveman

silentexploding - November 6, 2011, 12:31 pm
How much does a polar bear weigh? How much? Enough to break the ice!


TAGS: fell from heaven pain s m pick up line
Rating: 3.75/5

More motifakes by tryal

tryal - August 14, 2010, 5:21 pm
thats what the paper bag is for
Arkot - August 14, 2010, 11:25 am
Because it looks like you landed on your face.


TAGS: pick this version admin i fixed the e thanks
Rating: 3.49/5

More motifakes by Sean

Sean - May 21, 2009, 6:51 pm
No wait. This is the "fixed" version. Everybody now "YAWWWN". I hear ya.
Sean - May 21, 2009, 2:52 pm
It's evil!
thatonechick - May 21, 2009, 1:56 pm
How ironic! d*** that Enter key...
Sean - May 21, 2009, 12:18 pm
The first one, which is this one. The first "E" should be a little lower. It's up way too high. *weeps unconsoleably*
Airman - May 21, 2009, 12:16 pm
Which one is rated higher? First or second? there could be something to this
Sean - May 21, 2009, 11:38 am
Oops. I posted a slightly better version of this a few minutes after this one and they both got posted. Sorry about that.


TAGS: god religion atheism real pick
Rating: 3/5

More motifakes by banana82

tugtramp - July 22, 2012, 5:37 am
God of Thunder "hi, I'm Thor" Valkerie (after a hard night partying) "Your thor! I'm tho thor I can hardly pith!!"
Reality Lord - March 8, 2012, 5:39 pm

here's a thought banana. compare offending someone of belief...any belief...with offending someone who has no beliefs...for their non-beliefs. i a**ume the religion you're preaching is "im right...you're ALL wrong"ism. best maybe to respect the difference
banana82 - March 7, 2012, 7:31 pm
Haha, what!? Atheism is the only view on religion *not* depicted here! I just wonder which one of all religions is right. (By the way, if you think Pink Unicorns don't exist, is that a 'religion' too? Would you be an a-pink-unicornist or something?)
holymoly - March 6, 2012, 6:51 pm
I don't see my Bong
ICEMAN - March 6, 2012, 6:31 pm
Why the phuque do atheists feel the need to preach their religion?

FROM YOUR BACKSIDE - I thought you were repulsive However, after seeing you from the front I find you rather attractive

RURAL DRIVE-BY - Outraged with DQ for dropping Cheese Curds from the menu Keith and his trailer park boys decided to bring the hurt.

TAGS: and pick up some buster bars for later
Rating: 3.82/5

More motifakes by deadraisin

GreyScorpion - June 18, 2010, 11:28 pm
read his tags on his posters. those are really funny
ICEMAN - June 18, 2010, 11:24 pm
Even a busted clock gets it right twice a day. So the clock has a much better avg.
GreyScorpion - June 18, 2010, 11:20 pm
every weekday, the raisin tries, and tries, and tries, 8,9,10 different pics, rejected, and back again the next day...but on occasion, when the moon is full, and the cat has had a bath....he takes one deep to the yard. like 103969 and 102534
TheTrashHeap - June 18, 2010, 11:06 pm
C'mon GS Dish!
agdaniele - June 18, 2010, 10:59 pm
LMAO! I believe it.
GreyScorpion - June 18, 2010, 10:58 pm
you should have seen the first 5
agdaniele - June 18, 2010, 10:39 pm
Well played!



TAGS: i swear im not really talking about giraffes honest no letters to the studio please and no picketting this time
Rating: 3.57/5

More motifakes by Sean

GreyScorpion - July 1, 2010, 9:29 pm
classic truth, and they who shall judge, will eventually be judged, and have to listen to "I Told you, wait till you have your own"
Haarakkon - September 22, 2009, 8:50 am
So sod...
LogicDude - September 22, 2009, 8:49 am
"Since parents can no longer smack their children without rebuke"...OBVIOUSLY you've never been to my house where teenage heads turn so quick the *crack* you hear isn't the slap but the breaking of the sound barrier. Spare the rod and all that!
LogicDude - September 22, 2009, 8:48 am
What're these little bastards doing on my lawn again!? I just seeded and fertilized dammit!!!
Sean - September 22, 2009, 12:50 am
"nerf ball" eh??? I've never heard of a multi-attachment top-of-the-line power d***o called THAT before. Is that a wry reference to it's lowest setting?
Sean - September 22, 2009, 12:43 am
Hence the helmet.
MrRandom - September 22, 2009, 12:42 am
As a target?
Haarakkon - September 22, 2009, 12:41 am
Meh, past my bed time, anyway. He only tolerates me for the Lawn-Darts.
MrRandom - September 22, 2009, 12:39 am
But he has my nerf ball!
Sean - September 22, 2009, 12:39 am
Harr you can stay. For some reason he tolerates you.
Sean - September 22, 2009, 12:38 am
Hey you kids, get the H. offa LogicDudes' lawn!!!
MrRandom - September 22, 2009, 12:38 am
I was at work killing time on the lap top on break. Didn't feel like doing any more programming, already did 4 freakin hours for something that has a chance at not even happening.
Haarakkon - September 22, 2009, 12:37 am
Kind of a YOUTHful instigator. Subtle. Very subtle.
Bartimaeus - September 22, 2009, 12:36 am
It started an interesting tangent. Way to leave an idea sitting there, waiting to go awry.
Haarakkon - September 22, 2009, 12:36 am
Random, you kill me!
MrRandom - September 22, 2009, 12:35 am
Did my joke go bad?
Bartimaeus - September 22, 2009, 12:28 am
*air guitar*
Haarakkon - September 22, 2009, 12:28 am
I am familiar with none of these phrases.
Bartimaeus - September 22, 2009, 12:27 am
I kinda like the Bill and Ted lingo. Excellent!!
Bartimaeus - September 22, 2009, 12:25 am
STFU? I don't know. That might be a recent expression...maybe even 2006
Bartimaeus - September 22, 2009, 12:24 am
Yeah, its a great poster. I give it a five long ago. I'm just commenting because I'm bored.
Sean - September 22, 2009, 12:24 am
I think that gets me up to about 2004. No?
Sean - September 22, 2009, 12:24 am
You need to STFU and let a righteous poster bask in the glory of its epic righteousness, dude.
Bartimaeus - September 22, 2009, 12:20 am
O, Ferris. I don't know why I thought of Spicolli when I heard that. I need to watch more old movies...
Haarakkon - September 22, 2009, 12:19 am
Oh, sorry. I thought it was some new trendy "lingo" you whippersnappers were speaking.
BuZZbomb - September 22, 2009, 12:18 am
Nope. Ferris Buller.
Bartimaeus - September 22, 2009, 12:18 am
Buzz's quote was from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Ridgmont? I think Ridgmont
Haarakkon - September 22, 2009, 12:17 am
Bartimaeus - September 22, 2009, 12:16 am
Dude, I'm Spiccoli. Awesome, Buzz.
Arrogant Knight - September 22, 2009, 12:15 am
Haarakkon - September 22, 2009, 12:14 am
Ok, fine, fer sure, fer sure.
Sean - September 22, 2009, 12:12 am
Thanks. "Dork" was quite obviously the right choice. So move it along people, there's nothing more to see here.
Haarakkon - September 22, 2009, 12:11 am
And how is it that I'm referred to as all of the below? Though not oaf so much, since grandma died...
BuZZbomb - September 22, 2009, 12:10 am
"Barti" The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, s**ts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, ***kheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude. (feel better?)
Bartimaeus - September 22, 2009, 12:06 am
How is it possible that I've never been called any of these things? Perhaps it says something about my character, that people go straight for the obscenities.
Haarakkon - September 22, 2009, 12:05 am
oaf is just so medieval. nerd is so 1980. fool is (gilbert g notwithstanding) kinda 70s, goofball goes to the 50s.
Haarakkon - September 22, 2009, 12:02 am
dweeb? nerd, dolt, fool, goober, goofball, jerk, oaf, weirdo.
Bartimaeus - September 21, 2009, 11:50 pm
Bartimaeus - September 21, 2009, 11:46 pm
errrr...douche? no, I've already tried that one...n00bs? no, too modern. Goofs? I think I'll go with goofs, but I think that might actually be less relevant that dorks... Idk. Is cursing not an option in this case?
Sean - September 21, 2009, 11:42 pm
While I stand behind "dork," what term could I have used, young man? And don't say "geek." That's so 1986.
Bartimaeus - September 21, 2009, 11:41 pm
but obsolete. This is the modern age. Morals are gone and the expletives can fly. *lifts middle finger* "2009 m**********r." Can you believe I've yet to be banned?
Bartimaeus - September 21, 2009, 11:39 pm
Yes, you are behind the times. We've become for profane in the 2000's. Since parents can no longer smack their children without rebuke, cursing has become more prevalent. Now ten-year-olds can drop an F-bomb, so cutesy terms like "dork" have becaome all
Sean - September 21, 2009, 11:34 pm
How the H. is douche even remotely synonymous with dork? And I don't quite know where Mr.R is from, but in my neck of the nape, so to speak, "No Shi*t Sherlock" has just recently come into vogue. So greetings and salutations from the time warp.
Bartimaeus - September 21, 2009, 8:34 pm
I think he's right on this one. "Douche" seems the more common term in this day and age.
Sean - September 21, 2009, 8:33 pm
To your face, maybe ....
MrRandom - September 21, 2009, 6:47 pm
Gonna add a little insult to some injury there, no one has used dork in a very lonngggggg time.
Rollseyes - September 20, 2009, 10:00 pm
5 lions! As a gamer-geek I can totally relate!
RONSART - September 20, 2009, 9:56 pm


TAGS: pastor unprepared tries to pick a verse
Rating: 3.35/5

More motifakes by Sean

agdaniele - October 2, 2009, 11:04 pm
This one never fails to give me the chuckles
Sean - July 23, 2009, 10:56 pm
But don't get me wrong, when it comes to kids 'n such, I think there is far too little she-bear action.
Sean - May 28, 2009, 10:48 pm
Thanks. Started off as an a**hole atheist rant but then I thought that Jesus warning the good folks about something our mothers used to was where the real funny lived. I think you agree with me on that.
Haarakkon - May 28, 2009, 10:37 pm
An hour until swimming. Sweet. This is why your stuff consistently rocks.
BoneCD - May 28, 2009, 10:07 pm
Ahhh...childhood memories along side the pool...always so d*** worried about dieing cause I just ate a cookie...d*** you, how will I sleep tonight *positive thoughts, fetal position...calm, calm*
Bob Chin - May 28, 2009, 9:40 pm
The fish weren't really fresh?

FAIL.. - Gravitational pull doesn't count as magnetism.

AAAAAAYYYYY!!! - How 'bout it sweetheart you 'n me 'uh?

Not Another Word -

Male or Female -

WHAT A COMPUTER VIRUS ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE - "Wrecking Crew" virus attacks Motifake Moderator's keyboard.


TAGS: pickpockets vacation
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by trbecome

Greeny - April 2, 2014, 6:59 pm
SHOes SHoes shoes shoES shOES!

Right Time And Place -

TAGS: no slap pickup line
Rating: 4.89/5

More motifakes by Greeny

Mooooooooooooooooooo - March 10, 2014, 11:52 pm
The master Melon rides again.
Reality Lord - July 5, 2013, 8:17 am


don't get it -


TAGS: pick on siblings
Rating: 4.63/5

More motifakes by Airman

crankyhead - March 16, 2012, 7:28 pm
Up hill, both way5, no doubt.


TAGS: pick up line failure humor
Rating: 4.55/5

More motifakes by lgvernon

GaryO - August 8, 2013, 8:03 pm
On the other hand, Tacos are good

hilarious -

TAGS: food dinner party picky eater
Rating: 4.4/5

More motifakes by thecrotchetyoldcynic

lgvernon - February 3, 2014, 4:15 pm

I couldn't agree more. We have a friend who can never eat anything. I jumped through hoops for her for years. Now, she can go hungry,

pickle jar? -

TAGS: pickle jars give women problems
Rating: 4.29/5

More motifakes by Krickit

Bullridinwenck - April 22, 2013, 2:51 pm
yall can see she is just hiding her arms behind her and her man is behind her flexing
Greeny - April 17, 2013, 5:26 pm
Like Dean Martin said: "I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up."
GaryO - April 17, 2013, 3:11 pm
S-o-o-o, does she have arms at all, or is she holding onto something?
EmilioDumphque - April 17, 2013, 2:35 pm
I predict bruises on some lucky man's loins.


TAGS: monkey smooth pickup wytch
Rating: 4.22/5

More motifakes by Wytch

gas - August 12, 2011, 9:34 am
the animal theme may have ended up being tiresome, but IMO this one was funny... maybe you should submit less posters, and the worth woud be best rated
forseti - August 12, 2011, 3:55 am
thx V!
Verdeckt - August 12, 2011, 2:49 am
Ok, enough with the animals. Don't limit yourself.

The humiliation of Mr t boone pickens -


TAGS: nail wall toothpick toe
Rating: 4.08/5

More motifakes by Sho

GaryO - January 29, 2013, 9:17 am
Dang, I felt that one


HOW TO PICK UP - Here's to Roy Williams, for publicly announcing to all women out there that he is on the rebound and is willing to spend $76,000 on a wedding ring. I tip my hat to you sir


TAGS: pickup true story
Rating: 3.8/5

More motifakes by szo850

Rick69 - March 23, 2013, 7:12 pm
... How you doin' ...
Greeny - March 22, 2013, 10:28 pm
Reminds me of Rick back in 69 - except foor the hat and the beard...

ONCE AGAIN - Picked last

TAGS: pick
Rating: 3.44/5

More motifakes by doug

GreyScorpion - March 5, 2010, 8:58 am

PICKPOCKETING - is running rampant in the mean streets of Nebraska

TAGS: pickpocket goat farm
Rating: 2.5/5

More motifakes by Koradan

Mr.Danger260 - September 21, 2009, 9:34 pm
"Mean streets of Nebraska",the ultimate Oxymoron.

HEY MAN I HAVE A NEW PICK UP LINE - I'm gonna try on those girls over there. What is it? "Mind if I hang out here til it clears out over there where I farted?

TAGS: doomed pick up lines
Rating: 2.33/5

More motifakes by Feasibly

Feasibly - August 14, 2010, 10:54 pm
Was it not doomed enough?

ARE THOSE KOSHER? - They had them at Sader but I wasn't sure...

TAGS: pickles
Rating: 2.31/5

More motifakes by Chef

FACEBOOK - Being picky; doesn't make you friends

CAUGHT - Want to take a nice picture of a couple but he had to ruin it didn't he!

Nitpicking -

TAGS: takes tiny picks
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by GaryO

Bandit5906 - May 20, 2015, 11:44 pm
At least clean up?
JesusWept - May 20, 2015, 10:47 am
HAHAHA! I think Gary was a slave driver in a past life. Gary Legree. L L L L L
mizzdizz - May 20, 2015, 9:47 am
Then they'd have to pay them all that overtime!

Fish Pick Up Lines -

Oldest Profession -

TAGS: old aged poor pick up line needs work call girl
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by MissPriss

mizzdizz - December 19, 2014, 11:16 pm
Why Miss Priss, I was jus' thinkin she might be good at enjoyin herself a little ole lollypop! LOL!
MissPriss - December 19, 2014, 9:53 pm
OMG...my gutter mind had a reply regarding what she still has to be in the biz & it has nothing to do with talent. No way it would of passed censor. But thanks for an image in my head that will haunt me for the rest of the weekend...teehee.
mizzdizz - December 17, 2014, 6:18 am
If she's still in business, she's got talent! LOL!
MissPriss - December 12, 2014, 4:57 pm
Thanks Thedge!
MissPriss - December 12, 2014, 4:56 pm
Uggs, got her # if you're interested.
MissPriss - December 12, 2014, 4:55 pm
Sod...thanks for the bahaha comment!
Thedge - December 12, 2014, 2:44 pm
Sod... those are some good tri-focals. Where and how much? 5L
ughomer - December 12, 2014, 9:17 am
Not Fade Away!
Oldsod - December 12, 2014, 7:01 am
Keith Richards wears stilettos?